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AITA for not wanting my in-laws to stay with us more than once a month?
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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The minute word gets out that the guest towels are fluffy and the snacks are plentiful. The in-laws show up for every shopping trip and doctor visit, piling into guest rooms and raiding the fridge like it’s a family sport. Hosting stops being fun and just feels like a part-time job with no clock-out time. Every time the doorbell rings, you brace yourself for another weekend of “helpful” leftovers and the kind of cleaning frenzy only a high-stakes inspection could inspire.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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The longer you keep saying yes, the more these pop-up vacations start to feel permanent. Politeness has its limits, especially when the house is never truly empty and silence is just a rumor. It’s one thing to be welcoming, but it’s another to roll out the red carpet for people who think dumping their plates in the sink counts as pitching in. Husband acts like setting a boundary will break a sacred pact, while you’re busy worn thin scrubbing baseboards, no one else notices. At some point, it’s fair to want a living room that doesn’t double as a guest lobby. Family should visit, not move in, and there’s nothing impolite about wanting your own space back. Sometimes being a good host just means finally locking the door after checkout.
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Finding the sweet spot between family loyalty and personal space is its own life skill. Nobody wants to be the bad guy, but keeping everyone happy shouldn’t come at the cost of privacy and sanity. At some point, the balance tips and the need to recharge wins out over another round of togetherness. Drawing a line isn’t about shutting anyone out, it’s about making sure home still feels like yours once the dust settles. Family is important, but sometimes the best way to keep everyone close is to set a few boundaries and let quiet be part of the plan.
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Big city in-laws keep dropping in on their suburban daughter-in-law’s 5000sqft, pushing her to set stricter limits on visits: ‘Mother-in-law cannot take a hint. Even when we’re clearly burned out, she keeps asking until my husband gives in’
Sometimes, family seems to think your front door is open 24/7 and any free weekend is just waiting to be filled. It's great to have people close, share good times, and catch up on life. There's nothing wrong with loving the chaos, but even family can overstay their welcome if the line never gets drawn. The comfort of home starts to slip when constant visits turn it into a hangout spot and peace becomes a rare luxury.
I think we should give people the benefit of the doubt, so let's just attribute their entitlement to the fact that a 5000sqft home probably has many beds, and you can eat breakfast in any home, so they just decide to look at it as a bed-and-breakfast.
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